Today was just like any day. I woke up. I ate breakfast. I took a shower. I got dressed. I went through the motions as each hour came my way. But today...I wanted him so much, it hurt.....
By him I mean the one I feel God has for me as my Life Mate. The one I''m not sure I've yet had the pleasure of meeting. I say Life Mate because I don't believe in finding one's Soul Mate. Growing up I had always read about, or watched in movies how in life once you were of a certain age, you started to look for your soul mate. The one who fit you perfectly. As I've grown up, I've come to realize that there is no such thing as a Soul Mate right off the bat. Society has planted this perfect person in our head, one of great beauty and incredible compatibility. The thing is, yes you will find your mate (or future spouse) beautiful and you will have to be compatible, but not the way the world has described. I had read a fiction book about wolves and the wolves spoke of Life Mates instead of soul mates. The wolves spoke about finding the partner that they wanted to spend their life with, the wolf that would be the best mate to have by their side. I loved how the book described it, because the same thing applies to us humans. I'm not saying that a couple can't become Soul Mates, but you don't enter a relationship thinking that you've found yours. You have to grow and become Soul Mates. For example, when a man meets a woman and falls in love with her and comes to care for her more deeply than any other, choosing to marry her, they choose then to become Life Mates. As time goes on they learn more and more about each other. They become more intricately woven into one another. Another way to explain it is like this: Have you ever heard of or seen those Fruit trees (I'll use the pear trees for this example) that some people grow that produce several different types of pears? I can't for the life of me think of what they are called, but think of the man who falls for the woman as one kind of pear tree and the woman he falls for, as the other pear tree. When they decide to marry they are planted together into the ground as two completely different and separate trees, producing different kinds of pears. But as time goes on their roots grow longer and deeper and their roots stretch and weave, wrapping themselves around each other. They started off as two different trees(and still are) but over time, they become one. If you were to pull them apart after a certain amount of time having grown together, then it would be tragic for the health of them both. Their roots are too intertwined together now and they have stretched and formed around each other, leaning on each other. The two trees have become one. The couple, has become Soul Mates. That is why I don't believe in finding your soul mate, I believe that you become (over time spent together) a soul mate with the person you choose as your life mate.
I find it interesting how I can miss someone so much, that I've never met. That I miss someone that I've never spent hours talking, laughing, or crying with. I find it amazing that I can love that someone so...immensely, that I can ache not having him near me and if he is, not knowing it...
If you are or will become a reader of my Blog, you will quickly find out that I'm a huge fan of Rainer Maria Rilke and will quote him quite often ;) lol As I am about to right now. I think this poem fits this post well. Have a happy night, to anyone who comes across this post.
"See how in their veins all becomes spirit: in each other they mature and grow, like axles, their forms tremblingly orbit, round which it whirls, bewitching and aglow. Thirsters, and they receive drink, watchers, and see; theyreceive sight. Let them into one another sink so as to endure each other outright."
"I am alone in the world, and yet not alone enough to make each hour holy. I am lowly in this world, and yet not lowly enough for me to be just a thing to you, dark and shrewd. I want my will and I want to go with my will as it moves towards action.
All I want, in those silent, somehow faltering times, to be with someone who knows, or else alone. I want to reflect everything about you, and I never want to be too blind or too ancient to keep your profound wavering image with me. I want to unfold. I don't want to be folded anywhere, because there, where I'm folded, I am a lie..." --RAINER MARIA RILKE--
I'm an 18 year old girl who is taking life, one step at a time.
What does my blog title mean? Let me help you out :)...~Unfolding~ = "To reveal gradually by written or spoken explanation; make known." ~Endurance~ = 1. "The state or fact of persevering: 2. Continuing existence; duration." Welcome to my blog about my Unfolding Endurance....